A Gratitude Journal for Couples

With so much going on in our  lives, it’s not always easy to  balance everything and  maintain a high level of care  and      nurturing. It is important  to set the intention to prioritize  nurturing and emotionally  caring for our love relationships.  One strategy that I love is keeping a Gratitude Journal. It’s a relatively simple and easy way to at take only a few  minutes each day to focus on what you feel grateful for and appreciate about your partner. A Gratitude Journal for  couples is one of the best ways to nurture and emotionally feed your relationship.

How much conscious care and nurturing do you give your love relationship? Do you emotionally feed, water, nurture,  play with or tune up your relationship?

The high divorce rate and the increasing number of couples living in unhappy or unhealthy marriages may reflect the lack of care, fault- finding, and emotional neglect in many relationships. Sadly, we typically put lots of time, attention and energy into the beginning of a relationship. Once we make a commitment, get married and settle into life together, the amount and quality of attention and energy decreases. Sometimes couples complain that life gets in the way of maintaining a constant flow of healthy energy and attention. Other priorities like work, children and school all take so much of our time and energy leaving very little for the marriage. We operate from the “squeaky wheel” principle – who or whatever squeaks the loudest or puts the greatest demand gets the attention.  Who or what is “squeaking” in your life? To what are you giving attention in your life?

Gratitude is a rich and powerful food for our spirit. The act of acknowledging gratitude and appreciation activates the law of attraction – what you give attention to, multiplies. What you appreciate in your life, you get more of!! Isn’t that a compelling and interesting fact? Focusing on what you appreciate in your relationship will help those things grow and multiply in your relationship.  Research tells us that an attitude of gratitude can have a positive effect on our thinking, mood and biochemistry. There doesn’t seem to be a down side to appreciation and gratitude.

The guidelines for a Gratitude Journal for Couples are simple.

1. Talk to your partner about your idea for the Gratitude Journal and ask him or her to join you.

2. Get a spiral notebook, tie a pen to the notebook so you will be ready to write in your journal and put it in the bathroom next to the toilet. Then, everyday, while you are sitting on the toilet pick up the notebook and write at least 3 things that you appreciate or feel grateful for about your partner. For example you might write:

“I appreciate that you made the bed this morning.”

“I am so grateful that you are in my life.”

“I really appreciate you listening to me  while I was complaining about my boss”

“I appreciate you working each day to support our family.”

“Thank you for the healthy and delicious dinner you made last night”

“I am grateful for and appreciate your sweet and tender kisses.”

“I appreciate your smile”

Each day, you write at least 3 things you are grateful for or appreciate about your partner and your partner does the same. You don’t have to come up with completely new things each day. It’s OK to repeat some things. It’s best to be specific and keep them simple and personal.

Make a commitment to write everyday and don’t judge or criticize yourself or your partner if you miss a day or two. If your partner gets off track, keep writing your three things each day. Taking those few minutes to think about and write down what you appreciate about your partner is also a gift you give yourself. Your “attitude of gratitude” actually helps you put yourself in a better mood, so don’t cheat yourself out of being in a good mood, just because your partner forgot to write in the Gratitude Journal. It’s also helpful to pick up the Gratitude Journal and reread it on those days when you are feeling sad, frustrated or angry. Flooding your brain with all of those appreciations and statements of gratitude can help make shifts in your neurochemistry.  We always have choice about what thoughts we think; we can choose thoughts of criticism or thoughts of gratitude. Which make you feel better?

Imagine what a rich and loving document you would have if you and your partner wrote in your Gratitude Journal for 3 months, 12 months or for 5 years!

The simple act of consciously focusing on gratitude for is one of the best ways to nurture and emotionally feed your love relationship.

One Response to “A Gratitude Journal for Couples”
  1. I like this idea. An attitude of gratitude is great, but even better if we write it down and share it.
    A Gratitude Journal is a great idea.

    Let me see if I can get one started. …. It’s a little like our Perfect Moment Project. blog, but more intimate.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: